Introduction
How do you pray? A seemingly simple question, although a question that is difficult to answer. And if we were honest with ourselves, a question most of us don’t know the answer to. It’s okay not to know how to pray. We haven’t had a particularly clear and concise cultural understanding of prayer. It is however, one of the pillars of our faith. A practice so important, that Jesus himself had to slow down and return to His Father in prayer, sometimes for days at a time.
“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”
- Luke 5:16 (NIV)
Let me teach you how to slow down and build your relationship with God. To quiet the droning buzz of the busy world and set your eyes on the skies. How to daily reorient yourself with God’s purpose for your life. Allowing you to build a confident trust in God, so that you can listen and learn to recognize His voice.
Why We Pray
I met my girlfriend seven years ago. Eager to learn more about each other, we arranged for a date at a coffee shop. We outlasted the barista’s shift as we proceeded to order cup after cup of coffee. We talked for eight hours straight that day. I wanted to know everything about her. What was her motivation, her passion in life? Where did she come from and where was she going?
Building a relationship takes time, a lot of conversation and coffee. You will never be able to build a relationship with anybody if you don’t talk to them. This is true for everyone from your significant other, to your friends and even your kids. Likewise, you need to talk to God to build a relationship with Him. Prayer is not as formal and reverent as people think it ought to be. It’s a personal conversation, with God, who wants a personal relationship with you. I will come around to how we pray later, this section is about why we pray.
In Matthew 25: 1-13, Matthew writes the parable of the ten virgins. A tale about ten women preparing and waiting for their bridegroom’s arrival. They all gathered oil lamps and waited, eventually they fell asleep. Their bridegroom took a long time, but five of the women were prepared and brought extra oil. The other five had to run out to refill their lamps, and while they were away their bridegroom arrived and they were locked out of the ceremony. The tale ends with the shocking climax in verse 12, where the bridegroom tells the five women: “I tell you the truth, I don’t know you.”
I don’t have enough oil. I need to stock up every day. Otherwise, my lamp will go out, I will fall asleep, and I will miss God when he comes.
How often in life do we fall asleep and forget what life is really about? The hurry of work, studies and even the people around us, force us into a habit of going through the motions. Living out our lives half asleep, not aware of the bigger picture. We forget to reflect on our lives. Forget to get to know God. Forget to grow and work on our relationships.
This is where prayer comes in. Prayer is an opportunity to break away from the hurry and noise of life. To refocus and reflect on the purpose of our life. When everything is a hurried mess, prayer sets our eyes on the skies. It allows God to speak into our lives. It refreshes our minds and bodies. But most importantly, prayer is about getting to know God over a cup of coffee.
“I have so much to do today that I’m going to need to spend three hours in prayer in order to be able to get it all done.”
- Martin Luther
This sounds counter intuitive right? Martin Luther spends more time with God to have still more time to do everything else. It is however, an argument we all understand when we play it in reverse. If you wake up, scroll social media for 40 minutes. Get up and sit behind a desk. How much work are you going to get done? Not a lot right.
If you wake up, get up, make the bed, shower and grab breakfast. You will be a lot more focused and refreshed while working, even though it took way more time. Likewise, prayer refreshes our mind, reconnects us with God and His plan for our lives. Thus, allowing us to cut out the distractions and focus on what is important.
“When we pray, God changes our perspective and clarifies our purpose”
-Brett Younker
The Contempt of Silence (The Problem)
We live our lives at full throttle all the time. We get up in the morning, rush to get ready to go to work or university. Rush to finish everything that needs to be done, until we burn out, settle into the couch for the night and binge Netflix until we need to pass out. Moreover, every unused minute we get, has the potential of being filled with a convenient distraction. Social media, YouTube, Audible and hundreds of other streams of information or entertainment. I’m definitely guilty of falling for these distractions all the time. Why just drive when I could listen to audiobooks. Why shower in silence, when I have a seemingly infinite library of YouTube videos to listen to. This constant feed of information and connection to other people, although an extremely useful tool, also gave us a contempt for silence.
I get it. I hate silence too! I have literally been known to stand in the middle of my kitchen for ten minutes looking for a video to watch while I cook. It is, however, important for us to realize the impact our contempt for silence has.
Most importantly, a contempt for silence, never allows us to slow down. We are like the football player who runs around in the middle of the action. Hyper focused on one part of the field and missing everything on the other side. This can be useful, but eventually we are going to have to call time out so we can refine our strategy and adapt to what the other team is doing. We will never win if we don’t slow down every now and then to refocus ourselves. Likewise, if you want to be successful, you will need to refocus. Slow down… and embrace the silence.
In the Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis writes the words of the “senior demon” about the devil’s plan to drive humanity away from God:
“Over time the humans will grow unaware of
the high-pitched ringing in their ears, their heart
racing, and their constant craving for more
volume and more stimulation. Delightful!
But oh, how dreadful it is if they do notice and,
worse yet, begin to reject the delightful opiates we
offer. An hour’s walk or a quiet evening alone can
be hazardous. Even a drive with a broken radio or
CD player carries risk. Peace and quietude, after
all, are the Enemy’s handiwork. He waits
patiently for them in the stillness, whispering for
them to rest or ponder or [gasp!] even pray and
meditate! The very thought sickens me!
I trust you understand what is at stake. If
allowed to contemplate the empty pursuits and
mindless activities that fill their days, there is no
telling what horrific changes they might make in
their lives. As long as the volume is high and the
lights are flashing, there is little danger of this.”
- S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters
“We must keep them entertained
and distracted!
Keep in mind that silence, solitude, and
reflection is a breeding ground for all manner of
destructive outcomes. Rest gives them refreshed
bodies and clear minds. Clarity draws them to
that which we most hate: truth. In such moments
their vision grows strong and their purpose is
rekindled. I warn you: for Hell’s sake, do not let
this happen!”
- S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters
The devil is crafty. If he can’t make us turn away from God, he will try to distract us. If he can’t make us bad, he will make us busy. Fill our schedule to breaking point, sometimes with best-intentioned activities, anything to keep the noise going. Until we lose ourselves, lose our clarity about God’s presence, and don’t turn back.
All the world’s most successful people have one thing in common. They all have a morning routine. They all quiet themselves, embrace the silence and reflect, meditate, or pray. They all have routines to cut away distractions and make a conscious decision to win every morning. Mindfulness and mediation are not new cultural discoveries. Christians have been doing it for centuries. Meditation is just prayer without the best part: God. So, lets quiet the noise and distractions and make room for God in our lives.
Make Room for God
How do we quiet the noise and make room for God? We embrace the silence. It’s not easy, we have been conditioned to go at a breakneck speed for a long time. But, like working a muscle, you can make it stronger. Start small, set an alarm for 10 min and pray, listen to a soundscape of nature sounds to cut out the distractions, even listening to worship and reflecting on the words is prayer.
“And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.”
- Matthew 6:7 (NIV)
It will be awkward and strange at the begging. Check the timer to see only one and a half minutes have gone by. Just like a first date conversation starts off awkwardly. But eventually, as you grow accustomed to conversations with God and get to know Him, the conversations start to pour out as freely as the coffee. But, silently reflecting on a Bible verse or worship song, or being in God’s presence in the heavenly silence is just as much prayer as conversation.
“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”
- Romans 8:26 (NIV)
Then when the day gets hectic and everything goes wrong, or you simply find yourself with a free five minutes between meetings or walking to your car. You will begin to see the silence as an opportunity to reconnect with God, refresh your mind and refocus on God’s purpose for your life in the midst of the chaos.
11 “The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?””
- 1 Kings 19:11-13 (NIV)
Wherever you are, no matter how distracting the noise around you, God waits patiently to gently whisper into your life. Living a prayerful life, means making a habit of embracing silence, pondering, reflecting, and listening for God’s voice. This will allow you to live a life in confident and ever-present awareness of the presence of God.
So, start small. Set an alarm for 10 minutes, or 5 if 10 is too difficult. Embrace the silence and allow God to speak into your life. Now that we have addressed the distractions keeping us from prayer and how to approach God in the silence, let’s talk about how to pray.
How to Pray (Coffee Time)
One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When he finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples.” He said to them, “When you pray, say: “ ‘Father, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come. Give us each day our daily bread. Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us. And lead us not into temptation.’ ”
- Luke 11:1- 4 (NIV)
I think that the most important thing we miss when translating biblical texts, is tone. The Old Testament was originally written in Hebrew and the New Testament in Antient Greek. Antient languages with their own idiosyncrasies, histories and analogies that an Israelite and Greek speaking person of the time, would have immediately recognized. What I’m getting at, is that I believe we have misunderstood the tone, in which verses like Luke 11: 1- 4 was written.
We have interpreted the tone as serious and formal. If you want to learn how to pray, it’s simple. Luke 11 has a convenient checklist we can follow. Therefore, a true prayer must contain A, B and most importantly C. I however, believe that the tone of Luke 11 is affectionate and personal. So, allow me to set the scene of Luke 11, that matches the tone.
Jesus was sitting somewhere private with His disciples and using the time to reconnect with His Father in prayer. When He finished, His disciples asked Him to teach them how to pray. Jesus replied and said: “You want me to teach you how to pray? Of course, let me show you. Hey dad. We honor your name. We want your presence to fill us…”
We sometimes see prayer as a strange and formal affair. But there is something so powerful in how Jesus teaches us to pray, in Luke 11. You want to talk to God? Just do it, talk to Him as if He were sitting here with us.
I have had a strange relationship with prayer in my walk with Jesus. I grew up in a traditional church, and prayer was always reverent and unemotional. Prayer wasn’t satisfying or even comfortable. That is until God brought a message of prayer to me that would totally revamp my prayer life. This revolutionary prayer method, I will now share with you. I call it, Coffee Time. I promise I don’t have a caffeine problem. One of my mentors once told me that caffeine and the Holy Spirit, is a powerful combination.
“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.”
- Revelation 3:20 (NIV)
I eat with people all the time, but in biblical times, sharing a meal was an intensely personal experience. You only ate with your family and close friends. The people you have the closest relationships with. So, for God, to stand at our door knock, and ask to come in and share a meal with us, is an invitation to an intensely personal relationship with the Creator of the universe.
God is knocking on the door of your heart, if you hear His voice and open the door, then you can share a meal. You can embrace His presence. You can talk to Him, get to know Him over a cup of coffee. That is what prayer was meant to be.
When I pray, I make a cup of tea or coffee, or just grab a bottle of water. I seek out a quiet place and invite God into the moment, and I share it with Him in conversation. I reflect on Bible passages I have read and worship songs I listened to. I ask God how He feels about whatever is going on in my life at the time. I petition God on what I want and ask Him to conform my will to His. I ask Him to fill me with His presence and purpose. Nothing is off limits. I talk to God about the people who angered me, I ask God what He wants me to do in specific people’s lives. I even ask God’s opinion on movies I watched.
Sometimes the conversation seems one-sided. Other times I can feel God moving my heart, nudging me in the right direction and pressing viewpoints and observations onto my heart. I don’t stop until the cup or bottle is empty, and I can feel God’s present peace filling me. God and I are on speaking terms. We have an intimate relationship. He is my mentor and I learn from Him. As a result, I am going to be hounding Him constantly to grab a coffee with me and pick His brain. If you want to get to know somebody, there is no better place to start than just asking: “You want to grab a coffee with me?”
As a result of coffee time, I have had a dramatic shift in my prayer life in the past few years. I’m no longer uncomfortable or awkward in prayer. Nor does prayer feel like a silent waste of time. Prayer is now where I go to see and speak to God. To fill up my spiritual tank. To experience His presence and peace. To open my heart to a dear friend. To listen and learn from my mentor’s input. Coffee time is where I go when I fall off track or get caught up in the busy and distracting world. To refocus on my purpose in the kingdom of God. After I pray, I always walk away with a confident peace and a renewed vigor to live for God’s purpose and not my own.
People who live prayer full lives, live in a constant awareness of God’s presence. Whenever you need Him. Silence the noise, listen for God’s knocking, and open the door for Him. He is worth getting to know in conversation. He changes lives one cup off coffee at a time. So, schedule a time in your day to grab a cup with your mentor.
Conclusion (Digging The Trenches)
When soldiers, fighting a war, moves into enemy territory and wins ground. The first thing they do is dig trenches. Big canals in the ground that is paramount to their success in the war effort. When the enemy pushes in and starts firing on them, the trenches can be used as cover. It’s the ground that is most easily defensible. The safe place that can repel the enemy’s attacks. Moreover, the trenches become the biggest offensive tool too. The army has a safe place to fall back to when everything goes wrong. Therefore, they can boldly and confidently push past the trenches to win more ground. The trenches are safety, but they are also the springboard you need to plunge into enemy territory.
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”
– Ephesians 6:12 (NIV)
Our walk with God is not always a peaceful one. We are called to boldly go and win ground for God. To fight the devil and succeed in our spiritual war efforts. As in a real battle, we need trenches for defense and offense. There is no way you will succeed in your walk with God, if you crumble whenever the enemy starts firing. Prayer is our spiritual trenches. It’s our best line of defense. Where we retreat to, so we can have a clear view of the battlefield. Where we can quiet the distractions and focus on the task at hand. Where we can learn, discuss and find rest for our souls. And once the trenches are dug and prayer becomes a habit, then we can advance confidently into the battle of every day and win ground for God.
John
Latest posts by John (see all)
- Walk With Your Confidence In God - November 30, 2023
- When You Fail - October 13, 2023
- Don’t Let Others Discourage You - September 13, 2023